I longed for real silence the kind you can’t find but stumble upon in some cabin somewhere on a lake without a moon where you hear the cigarette burn and the candles flicker and your mind dances alive to the symphonies in the black. – atticus
As someone who works from home and lives alone, you’d think I would have a lot of quiet time to myself. And yet I seem to fill every spare minute with coaching sessions, meetings, work projects and household chores, and every empty corner of my brain with thoughts about work, friends, family, COVID and the general state of the world.
We all get caught up in the trap of being busy all the time. It’s part of our culture.
But every now and again, I’ll hear a soft sound coming from the direction of my feet. I’ll stop what I’m doing, look down past my desk full of multi-colored sticky notes and see my dog Hannah Blue curled up on her little red pillow, paws folded beneath her chin, deep in doggy dreamland. The soft, heavy sound of her breath pulls my focus from whatever problem I’m chewing on to the rhythmic rise and fall of her warm, caramel-colored body. My breath slows to meet hers. My muscles soften. My gaze relaxes and my mind goes quiet.
For one delicious moment, I feel totally at peace.
Mind to body connection
We all get caught up in the trap of being busy all the time. It’s part of our culture. But scientific research has shown pretty conclusively that the trap is a sham – learning to quiet your mind for even a small portion of the day actually makes you more productive and has profound benefits for your health.
But to fully tap into those benefits, we need a precious commodity in today’s world – silence. Or at least relative quietude.
According to a 2006 study in Heart, a 2-minute interval of silence can slow your breathing and bring down your heart rate and blood pressure, all signs of bodily relaxation. Two hours of silence could even generate new brain cells in the hippocampus, according to a 2013 study in Brain Structure and Function (at least it did in mice).
It is often in moments of stillness that new ideas burst forth, or that we suddenly understand something we missed before.
The mind body connection is strong. When we breathe deeply, for instance, our body begins to relax and our mind follows. Conversely, when we hear a loud sound – a motorcycle vrooms noisily up the street – our mercury goes up. Stress chemicals flood our system, telling our bodies to snap to high alert.
Quietness not only induces bodily calm, it promotes higher-order thinking and creativity by allowing us to slow down and see – and feel – things more deeply and clearly. It is often in moments of stillness that new ideas burst forth, or that we suddenly understand something we missed before.
Importance of mindfulness for leaders
In a relaxed, quiet state, the brain is free to slip into a “default” resting mode, as defined in 2013 by Joseph Moran and colleagues in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. Moran wrote that this mode “is observed most closely during the psychological task of reflecting on one’s personalities and characteristics (self-reflection).” When the brain is at rest, it “integrates internal and external information into a conscious workspace.”
In other words, a host of important leadership skills are supported by quietude, including self-awareness and reflection, tapping into intuition and thinking creatively.
Not everyone will chance upon moments of accidental quietude. Be intentional about creating such sanctuaries for yourself.
Monks, of course, didn’t need science to tell them silence was important. But we live in a society where full tilt is our default mode.
At Holdsworth, our curriculum covers the importance of quietude and sanctuary as part of an education leader’s personal growth and development; it’s my job as a coach to help our leaders stay accountable to their own goals to carve out time in their busy schedules for mental rest. It makes an impact – according to our most recent survey, 90 percent of Holdsworth leaders say they’ve applied new strategies to manage their mental, emotional and physical resources.
How to quiet your mind
So what if you work in an environment buzzing with activity all day long? Or co-exist with little ones, where the moment you settle in with a cup of coffee and a magazine, a child begins to wail?
Not everyone will chance upon moments of accidental quietude. Be intentional about creating such sanctuaries for yourself.
For me, sanctuary is an agenda-less day when I don’t have to set my alarm and can stay in my PJs. For others, it may look more like a camping trip or a vigorous hike or walk out in nature.
But it can also be little moments here and there – even a few minutes per day will give your brain some much-needed respite. If you already have a meditation practice, great. If not, you could steal a few minutes upon waking or right before bed to lay or sit in silence without grabbing your phone.
Think about the last time you felt a quiet peace come over your body and mind. Where were you and what were you doing? Are there ways you could be intentional about creating more moments like these in your life?
With many people choosing to stay home or avoid big family get-togethers, this holiday season may be quieter than most. Seize the opportunity to give yourself the gift of stillness. Take yourself on a walk, shut yourself in your bedroom and order yourself a box full of….nothing.
